Holy Saturday

I'm toying with 2 changes :
1. find a new job
- with recent people changes, the team is now more political than ever. Plus they backstab!
- I've been here 3 years, it is about time to move on.

2. move out
- I really find it really hard to stay with my mom. Perhaps it is cowardice, but perhaps with some space, we can find a more amicable relationship.
- And I am 37 years old this year, I think I have a right to my own place right?
- However, I'm not sure if this decision makes her happier than I'm not there to fight with or would it be viewed as not caring for her anymore...

Been praying about these decisions for the last week.

Stop the world! I wanna get off!!

Ever had one of those times when everything possible goes wrong?

I've pretty much painted myself into a corner... I'm tired, fedup of being attacked and depressed.

To the baying hungry wolves howling for my blood, I wish you a blessing from Numbers 6:22-27.

May the Lord bless you, and keep you ; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you ; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. So they shall invoke My name on the sons of Israel, and I shall bless them.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
but make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
Or being lied about don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise!

If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools;
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve their turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it,
And, which is more, you'll be a man, my son!


Rudyard Kipling