Taiwan - here I come!

I took the job. Timing was perfect.

Got 2 months to close up everything & pack. Woo...

Decision Time

After some weeks of furious interviewing..

Let's see, I went for,
- numerous rounds (i forget) for WW Product Manager - Entry Level Home PC. Based in Taiwan reporting into Cupertino. I started interviewing in Oct 2006.
- WW Product Manager - Notebooks. Based in Taiwan reporting into Houston. I started interviewing last month.
- Citrix. 1 round. Last week. Came almost immediately after I parked my CV on Monster.com.
- Microsoft, for Product Manager for XBox. Just initial screener call. Same week as Citrix.
- EMC, for Product Manager. Just initial screener call. Early this week

Was offered the WW Product Manager - Notebook role yesterday.

Decision time!

The song I have on repeat play

It came up during dinner after one of those climbing sessions. Melvin sang a little of a Hokkien Christian song that had everyone in stitches. He was surprised none of us had heard of Hokkien Christian songs that he cut us a CD with 2 Hokkien songs on it. Ironically, I liked the song in between the 2 Hokkien songs. So did the other gals... Now we hum it all the time...

He Never Sleeps - Don Moen

When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray.
Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer is on it's way.
Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.
And He never sleeps, He never slumbers.
He never tires of hearing our prayer.
When we are weak He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him.

Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your need.
Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see.
Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.

1st Dive Trip 2007

Went diving over weekend with YeanYean and her friends.

It was great cos I had a brief respite from the chilly atmosphere at home and also I didn't have to pretend over Mother's Day.

We went to Tioman. Was organised by a friend of Yean's, so it was overall cheaper and we also slept on terra cotta, albeit a sleezy, yicky budget hotel in Mersing. But beats sleeping on a rocking boat.

Mostly seasoned divers with cameras so the diving was leisurely and they were great at spotting macro stuff. After a while though, I was bored of drift diving and staring at yet another nudibranch. Tioman is still good diving despite the sheer no. of divers there.

The highlight was the 2nd day when Irene spotted a shark in a cave, when I finned over, there were 3 guys lying on the seabed staring into a cave. As I approached, Irene signalled shark, I squeezed beside the guys and stared into nothing - just blackness. Then I saw a fin, it was big, then the side of a shark, then the whole shark appeared maybe 10cm in front of my face - so close I saw razor sharp teeth! The nurse shark is at least 5 feet. TS said it was trying to escape from us, but I think it was trying to remind us that it's a shark, with teeth fully capable of eating one of us! Anyways, I screamed so loud that everyone was laughing at me once safely up on the boat.

Great weekend!

Cycling Mandai Road

I've been meaning to cycle Mandai but somehow, fear of being roadkill on Singapore roads and also I guess just never gotten round to it.

Until Yingzi suggested cycling to Yishun to climb instead of driving there.

Since I've been binging on seafood twice that week, decided it may be time to work off my butts.

We met along 6th Avenue and started down through the length of Bukit Timah, then into Mandai Road. It only got less scary after Mandai when the no. of cars pettered out. But then the rolling hills started. *Groan*

But it was fun! It took us slightly over 1 hour to do the 30km ride. So quite proud of myself. It helped that Yingzi took off at a crazy pace along Mandai and I had to chase her down.

Amazingly after a short rest and 1 bottle of 100-Plus, we could still climb!

May

Wow, time does zip by. It's 1 May and we get a day off. Had a long list of todos, but only managed,
- wake up to climb (vain attempt to work off the lobster from Derek's birthday dinner last nite)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8062670@N07/

- ate midday meal at 3pm

- afternoon nap to make up for the lack of sleep from sharing a room with mom last weekend

- watch 300 on DVD (it is so violent!)

So much for the evening jog or washing my filthy car (poor baby). Will wait for rest of week!

Holy Saturday

I'm toying with 2 changes :
1. find a new job
- with recent people changes, the team is now more political than ever. Plus they backstab!
- I've been here 3 years, it is about time to move on.

2. move out
- I really find it really hard to stay with my mom. Perhaps it is cowardice, but perhaps with some space, we can find a more amicable relationship.
- And I am 37 years old this year, I think I have a right to my own place right?
- However, I'm not sure if this decision makes her happier than I'm not there to fight with or would it be viewed as not caring for her anymore...

Been praying about these decisions for the last week.

Stop the world! I wanna get off!!

Ever had one of those times when everything possible goes wrong?

I've pretty much painted myself into a corner... I'm tired, fedup of being attacked and depressed.

To the baying hungry wolves howling for my blood, I wish you a blessing from Numbers 6:22-27.

May the Lord bless you, and keep you ; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you ; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. So they shall invoke My name on the sons of Israel, and I shall bless them.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
but make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
Or being lied about don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise!

If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools;
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve their turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it,
And, which is more, you'll be a man, my son!


Rudyard Kipling

Bitch at work!

After a long stretch of working hard, I rewarded myself with a midweek break. However instead of taking 1 day off, I took 2. On advice from Terence, decided to take Thu off as well. Thu - NPI day so that I need not chair that @#$ meeting anymore and force Pam into taking up her new role.

The last few weeks has been quite busy - and that's an understatement. We've had crisis, Sales and Marketing meeting on Monday, a million things to do for Summer launch...

While I was initially relieved to have Pam join us from Mar 1, she's been quite an office player. Turns out she complained to boss abt me not helping her when all I've been doing is helping, even til now.

Since she wants the glam part of her job, I'll let her have her own job back. The good, the ugly and the dirty bits of it. Her excuse that she's not good with Excel is too lame.

I will always do my job - cos I owe it to God. And I will help out if needed, but, I am also not stoopid and will not be made use of.

So Pam, since you complain I'm not helpful, I will really STOP being helpful. You're on your own kiddo!

Cable Ski wknd

Cable skiing ain't as easy as I thought it would be...

Instead of climbing on a Saturday, someone suggested cable skiing. Since we all nursed climbing related strains/aches/overusage of fingers/wrists/shoulders, it sounded like a great idea to take 1 Saturday off to try a new sport.

Other than the early start & needing to take ferry to Batam.. Translated, I had to wake up early on a Saturday (sacreligious!)

The cable ski park in Batam costs $80 all day inclusive of the ferry/transfer & a packed lunch. Much cheaper than if we'd gone to East Coast.

All of us managed the kneel-boards easily.. So natural progression, onto wakeboards. And that's where the falling began. Considering I have tried both water-skiing (2 skis) & wakeboarding (single-ski) in the past, off a boat, cable skiing is awfully hard.

I pretty much spent the whole afternoon, adopting launch posture, to fall either forwards/backwards into water, swim back to platform, board drifts back, repeat step 1, fall, repeat...

The place is pretty nice. Nice hunks to chat with, pretty scenic place, hang around with friends..

Another biz trip...

I've been in HP for 7 years now and never traveled as much as I did last year. Initially it was great and I guess I do enjoy seeing new places and experiencing different cultures, but when the trips are too often and too close together, it does get physically tiring and places tremendous stress on the body.

My colleague Steph schedules her trips inclusive of recreational trips back to back to the point she was sick for weeks. The gal's just got too much 'get up and go' attitude, very admirable for a lazy procrasinator like me.

This year, I visited Korea for my first time for an AP PR launch. Other than it being f#$ing cold in Jan, I had a great time.

Work wise - it was the worse trip of my life (2 demo PCs died after being manhandled by the hotel staff ; cables went missing ; we had to switch to static instead of live displays for our Product Showcase)...

But personally, I enjoyed the rest of it - had extended an extra day to see a little of Seoul with Steph. We visited temples, went shopping, took the Seoul subway, ate Korean BBQ and ginseng chicken, found ourselves insulted by insensitive Korean salespeople who estimated me to be a size L... Steph incidentally makes a great traveling companion. She's amiable, game for anything, and has a great sense of humour.

The highlight was visiting the DMZ, Steph wanted to see the "meeting room" where N & S Korea signed the ceasefire treaty. The correct name is the Joint Security Area. While the half day tour was very educational. I also found out that Steph had absolutely no concept of war.

Just booked another biz trip - Taiwan in mid Apr for the quarterly monitor review.

Light at end of tunnel

February was a blur. I was asked to stand-in for the NPI lead role whilst Andy moved onto being SEAT RM, for the month of February. Pamela - Andy's replacement would only join the team Mar 1.

I found myself working late, working from home, working over weekends. It was horrible all over again.

Thankfully, it is now Mar. Pamela's on her 2nd day of work, Andy's taken over completely all SEAT related activities. Although the workload's still bad, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

It's difficult...

*Whine* It's only Feb and I'm complaining. This year hasn't been easy!

忍

Rough Week

Work week 3 of 2007 and I succumbed - for all my ambitious new year resolutions.. 1st losing my patience with Chen Ying - we still haven't resolved the CTO simulator screwup. Then on Friday afternoon, in a particularly difficult meeting with Helen, I lost my cool 2nd time in 1 week. Didn't even give Monty face - he was in the same meeting. Sigh.

Had a CaFE meeting in church and I got to church early. I was actually quite pissed off at myself for not being able to hold my temper in check. Went to confession and for penance was told to read all of Cor 13.

1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Moving Pa from Mt Vernon to St Mary of the Angels

Sunday morning 8am, we met at Mt Vernon to break into Pa's niche. Ken had purchased a chisel (guess he watched Prison Break) and we were trying to save and keep Pa's marble slab. I don't know why we wanted to save it, guess we're still nostalgic about Pa after 23 years.

Ken, Ian & Calvin took turns hacking away at the edges - without much progress. We were really disturbing the serenity of Mt Vernon as the high-pitched 'ping' from hammer against chisel was ringing off every single columbarium block. Very jarring against the silence of the early morning.

Finally God gave up on us and sent us a Bangla cleaner - he was sweeping leaves and offered to help, muttering something about us doing it wrong and that we'll never make it that way.

We had to sacrifice the marble slab - he whacked it hard and the marble just crumbles. He even carried Pa's urn down for us (of cos Pa on top floor la...).

Then it onto St Mary's of the Angels. There was a brief internment service and Pa's urn in his new niche in church. We had earlier decided this makes it easier for us to visit and to pray.Calvin & Ian blessing Pa's urn with holy water.

We had earlier visited St Mary's of the Angels' columbarium and really liked it. It's got open roof skylights which opens into a fountain. And the whole place is peaceful withot being scary.

After that, we had a great dimsum lunch together at the Fort Canning Club chinese restaurant.

Fingerboard

I had given Francis a fingerboard couple of years ago - he moved houses and cannot install the fingerboard in his new place. Very generously, he offered to fix it up in my room for me until he moves again - hopefully not for a while :)

After installation, this is how it looks just above my room door.

Unfortunately, my shoulders have been killing me recently, probably only hung off it a couple of times. And I cannot scrunch my abs enough to do a 90degree leg lift... I am growing fat! Wail!

Day time Getai

Walking back to carpark after lunch on Sunday, chanced upon what seemed like a getai in the daytime. Except that instead of sleezy singers, they looked like housewives. I walked closer and read off the banner on the stage - some community centre buddhist group raising funds for typhoon victims in Philippines. Amongst the audience was the ambassador from the Philippines. The things diplomats have to endure for the sake of country, honour and $. Poor guy - his ears are probably still ringing. Mine are...

My 2006

In my typical David Letterman top 10 (ish) style.

What I achieved in 2006

1. survived breaking up with Hon. For the longest time I didn't think I would make it. At every turn, I'd imagine he'd call me & we'll reconcile somehow - after all we had broken up and made up numerous times over the 4 years of being together. In 2006, I survived alone - 1 new year, 1 chinese new year, 1 valentines, 1 birthday, 1 christmas. It was, is still, painfully lonely.
2. keeping my sanity with mom. My mom drives me nuts - she wins hands down the award for "most immature, negative & sarcastic mom". In early 2006, I really wanted to move out. But I also knew that she would not be able to live alone. It was such a difficult decision to stay. Thankfully my brothers understand (empathy is easier when you've successfully moved out) & made attempts to ease things off me, e.g. take her out for dinner whenever they could. The battle continues as sadly I see no way out. Life with mom-bitch carries on...
3. struggling through a very vulnerable faith. In spite of my struggles, God has been great this year. Giving me blessing after blessing in the most obvious way that I cannot but stop and give Him thanks.
4. learning to not regret my decisions. I got a few opportunities for a do-over. E.g. Choon Yee re-entering my life. He's still has this thing for me - probably since when we first met in 1997. And as I couldn't when I told him so in 1998, I still can't imagine being with him. I can't understand it - the man's rich, successful, sweet and loves me! Groan.
5. seeing the world. In 2006, I made 1 trip every month - either a work trip, dive trip - mustered 4 dive trips including diving Manado, weekend getaways mostly to KL to climb and, the highest point - going to Miri to share CaFE.
6. visiting and climbing the Great Wall of China.
7. being patient with people. Learning to accept/appreciate different people for what they are. Francis will live in his own world and no amount of nagging will move him off his procrastination. He will move when he's ready. Helen will continue to be Helen - losing your cool with her doesn't help matters, just cover her mistakes and move on.
8. trusting God. Kuan and Teresa are desperate to be in a relationship, every time I have dinner with them, I end up feeling all panicky that I'm 36 and single. I try to avoid dinners with them now. While I can appreciate the ticking time clock, found myself finding kids cute! *horrors* Instead I will take this to God, that He will provide in His time according to His will.
9. driving in the US. My last trip was THE trip I will try to drive. Eve had everything booked for me. I even had a printed map of how to drive from the airport to the Homewood Suites. It was dangerous - returning the car was the right decision. I was looking at the rear view mirror in the wrong place, I couldn't even keep my car in my lane.
10. buying my own place. TOP Dec 2008. I can't wait.

What I need to work harder on... (2007 goal target)

1. focus on relationships with people. I will one day succeed in being kinder and gentler - esp with the people I don't like.
2. Discipline. Discipline. Discipline.
3. stop gossiping. If I can whinge without getting personal...
4. work on my faith. I pray that God will continue to close to me.
5. 2007 will be a year of uncertainty. The job in Taiwan is still up in the air. I need to keep trusting in God.
6. open. Be open to new things, new events, new way of doing things. Stop being a stick-in-the-mud.
7. be a friend to all.
8. work less. Stop working beyond 6pm every day.
9. sign up for musical keyboard lessons. Something I've said since 1996 - Yamaha I must!
10. drive myself in the US.

Christmas came early this year!

Christmas came early for me.

Today's the last working day of the year for us as the office is shut down between Christmas and New Year. It's really quiet today anyways since many of my co-workers were either on leave already or working from home instead.

I had gone to lunch with Brenda - there were no marketing folks to eat with!

Came back and presto! Someone at work gave me an iPOD Nano for Christmas. Wowee... my jaw dropped.