On 2009... and 2010

I should be happier this time of year - usually I am. But this year around, a couple of issues weigh heavy, and I just can't shake it off.

The church teaches that I should do these 3 as year end reflection :
1. give thanks for all the blessings you've had this year
2. say sorry for all the wrongs you've done
3. how else can you provide more, give of more.

So here goes.

Blessings of the year
- travel. I got to do quite a few interesting trips this year : from Jade mountain to diving Palua (twice!), got to see a lot more of Taiwan (from Tainan to far flung islands of Jinmen and Lanyu), the Angkor Wats are just fantastic.
- family. It's heartwarming especially now that my mom is much nicer to me, my brothers are fantastic and Michelle pokes me on FB daily (I love her!)
- work. I should be grateful that job wise, there is much less pressure compared to what I've endured.
- people. It's been an awfully lonely year. I wished there was more I could say in this department, especially with regards to marriage. Sigh. But still for few who stuck around, thank you all.

Wrongs
1. I feel my greatest weakness is people. Re-reading my last year's new year resolutions, I realize I did not make much headway on my relationships with people. Often my arrogance, being so full of myself, I tend to act and then regret. For those whom I have not been nice to, my heartfelt apologies.

2. Discipline. This has totally gone to the dogs.

Looking into 2010, guess the work is pretty much cut out for me. Pretty much the same as my 2009 resolutions, it will remain simplistically 2-fold :
1. love as Jesus commanded us to
2. discipline, discipline, discipline.

And to everyone out there reading this, I wish you a much joy filled christmas and a kicking start to 2010 full of hope!

Third Sunday of Advent - Joy and Gladness

From Sunday's excellent sermon from Fr Cary at the St John Bosco's, Taipei.

Joy is
1. fruit of the Holy Spirit
2. not a passing enthusiasm, it is a gift!
3. endures trial of time. Even in times of suffering, pain and difficulty.
4. generous and contagious. If you are stingy, then your joy is in material things.
5. filled with Hope.
6. filled with thanksgiving. A joyful person is thankful.
7. knowing that one is filled with God's graces. Not a fleeting thing, nor linked to material things, but a grace received from God.

So,
- ask yourself, do I have joy in my heart?
- this Sunday is an invitation to wait joyfully for the Saviour who is coming to save us.
- what do you need to let go/set free to be joyful? Because we are all entitled to joyful lives.

Mendling in other people's affairs..

I hate this.

Almost a year ago, I received a call from a colleague's wife. I was in the gym and naked and reaching for clean clothes in the locker room when I got a phone call. It was long distance. She was distraught and claimed her husband had an affair. My first instinct, woman to woman, plus I was vulnerably naked at that moment, was to reach out to her. Weeks later and many loooong conversations with her, it all started to get really confusing. I realised much belatedly that I should not have gotten involved. And very politely walked away, explaining to her that she should really fix her marriage herself.

The whole business took a lot out of me. I wanted to help, but I realized I may have made things worse. And while I regret, I'm not sure if standing aloof in the first place was the kindness thing to do. My biggest learning at that time was to not meddle in someone's else's marriage. That while I can be a friend, I am not a part of the solution.

Sunday evening I found out that my friend/colleague's boyfriend is someone else's boyfriend as well. Again, I was dismayed, sickened to the core. She was in a relationship that was yo-yo-ing so bad. Some days she was flying on top of the world, some days she would be upset/angry at work. Now he is also in a relationship with a fellow diver? Wtf...

Monday at work she was again not in good mood. He had gone AWOL, again, all night. I tried to gently hint that perhaps he is not ideal for her. Tuesday, she was happy again, they had made up that night. I had wrestled the knowledge and decided she should know the truth. I didn't want to meddle, but she must at the very least know the truth.

Did I do wrong? Should I have kept the knowledge? I didn't want her hurt. Just as I didn't want to see my colleague's wife hurt at first.

One of these days I will learn to keep my big mouth shut, regardless.

Of sharks and turtles

I was a little sick just before leaving for Palau. And there was a passing typhoon, so conditions were not exactly ideal.

Nontheless, it went well. Visibility wasn't as good as my first trip, but I still had a great time.

Every dive, we saw sharks and turtles freely swimming by us. On day 2, manta ray! Visibility was terrible, but we were so happy to see the manta! Even though I couldn't justiably take a good shot of it.

More pictures on my Flickr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/8062670@N07/sets/72157622832887735/

Excellent sermon at Mass

Father Gary gives pretty good sermons. I've taken to bring a small little book to write down his sermons.

Yesterday, 2nd week of Advent, the message was
1. Prepare the way of the Lord
2. Imminent 2nd coming of Christ, the Parousia.
3. Prepare yourself, remove all obstacles.

Those left behind from the Parousia are promised these 3 things
- Salom : prosperity and world peace
- no more unfairness : true justice and equality
- unfailing affection & friendship : no more quarrels, betrayals

Reflections for Advent
1. What are your obstacles? That prevent Jesus from entering your heart?
2. What are your sins - making the road to salvation rough and difficult?
3. What are the crooked ways in my life that needs to be straightened?