The run AFTER the bad-tempered run

Too lazy to drive to East Coast to do the long distance run.  I thought I'll just lap along the Ghim Moh canal, gives me more sleep :)

Training plan calls for a 32km, but I have been feeling lousy, tired and 'heaty'.  I tried to rest Wednesday, but got tempted to go Climbers Lab... Then I persuaded an already closed medical hall to open to sell me 3 bottles of 凉茶, but the same temptress gave it all away!

This must be the hardest run I've done.  It was all mental all the way.  I called it quits when the scorching heat got to me and my knees started to hurt bad.  The good thing is that toes, ankles, lungs, rest of me feels ok.  Just the knees.

Best recovery is active recovery, I'll cycle off the lactic acid tomorrow.  Gonna go slow with Lemna and then u-turn when I see my buddies return.

KNS - Tg Pagar walkover

Truly KNS!

For all the hype, I thought I might be able to vote for the first time in my life.  As it turns out, Tanjong Pagar is the only constituency to not have contest.  Sheesh.

Last elections Buona Vista is categorized under Holland-Bukit Panjang.  Ironically, if there were no change, I'd have had a chance to vote.

Sigh.

Carrying on in trying times

Trying times indeed.  Things are certainly not going the way I envisioned it to be.

Perhaps I'm just tired.  Didn't climb well last night and this morning, I woke up with a sore throat, started running, thinking all will be well.  Normally by the 7-8km mark, I start to kick in strong and feel on top of the world... But this time around, I was along Ghim Moh canal & stupid Runkeeper kept losing GPS signal.  Which is fine, except stop interferring with my music!  I must've stopped like 5x to attempt to fix it, growing increasingly irate. 

I finally lost it along Ghim Moh canal after I've done 1 round (meant to run 2 rounds).  At 8.2km, I quit Runkeeper, switched to music, since I still had another round of the canal to do.  Then music too started to petter in/out.  WTF.  I quit and actually walked the 4km home.  Yes, all the way, in the sun, seething, grumbling. 

My mantra has always been that sports is fun.  If not fun, then go home.  It's not fun anymore and I have 1 more month and since it's the last stretch, also the hardest month.  Sigh.

As I walked that 4km home, thoughts of frustration filled my mind.  And then I recall Job.  Now I realize I am nowhere close to Job's predicament, but Job could praise God thru it all.  And so will I.  I praise you the Almighty and I worship you as my Lord.  I will trust in you and surrender totally to Your will.

Marathon Diary : week 11

It's getting tiring, my legs feels so old.  I am not looking forward to the next 5 weeks of clocking mileage. 

This week I need to do a 13km and a 32km run.  Groan!

From my last run on Good Friday, where I ran 2 loops of the 10km trail at Macritchie.  It's been a really long time since the last time I ran the 10km trail, a bitter-sweet reacquaintance with the hills and slopes.  Parts of it made me smile from the memories I had, but most of the time, I was just exhausted.  I forget how steep the hills are and how rocky the path gets in part.  But the uneven & steep slopes are good training.

Happy Easter!

This is going to be a happy weekend. Saturday is Jo's wedding & Sunday is Easter. Double yay!

Holy Week

Last week of Lent before Easter!  I'm eagerly awaiting Sunday! 

Last Saturday was Jo's hens night and it was a good break to hang out, sleep together in a hotel room just like old times again, except this time in a drunken stupor, so it was not anything memorable.  A pity.

The next morning I went to a New Creation church service with the gals, forgetting that it's Palm Sunday!  Gasp!  But I was glad I went.  Zi always commenting that she does not live "under law, but by grace", which to my very Catholic upbringing, doesn't sound right theologically.  The sermon by Paster Prince himself was ironically on that topic. 

Jesus himself said, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill." Matthew 5:17. 

Paster Prince's teaching was not to focus solely on the law like the Pharisees and miss the forest for the trees, nor to attempt to follow the law using your own effort, you're doomed to fail.  His point was, use God's grace because with God's grace, you will end up being a good follower anyways (which I presume will also result in obedience to law).  Now I understand.

Into the last stretch, I will endeavor to attend mass every day this week, especially the Triduum, with His grace (see, I learn fast, not on my own effort, but His).

Did I say hot? Can it get hotter... I fear it just did.

Mom and I had our first full out fight.  Wasn't pleasant.  She's been all stressed out since Mattie was born.  I mean, Ian & Michy hasn't even requested or put any serious burdens on us.  Just every now and then mom needs to buy fresh produce from the market so the confinement lady can cook daily meals.  Besides we eat there often anyways. 

I got a glimpse again of the sheer anger she has in her.  And how the anger self-fuels itself in a horrifying vicious cycle.  She yells, which gets her angrier, results in more yelling - and I've seen her do 2 hrs straight of pure anger (4 years ago). 

Today I got but a glimpse because I was trying to drive with her yelling at me and I just couldn't cope and so I pulled into a bus stop and she got off in a hissy fit, slamming the door hard for good effect.  (Poor Roar - yes baby I still love you even if grandma doesn't care.)

What really terrifies me is how much anger she has in her, still!  Stiring up memories of 4 years ago.  Perhaps I really need to work overseas forever.  Naiveté perhaps, it is clear we can never co-exist the way other mother-daughters can.  I had 9 months of peace won by a 3 year absence. 

This sucks.  Literally.  Been trying to drink away an insatiable thirst all day and watching Grey's Anatomy for therapy.

Oh, if only it's 21degrees here in the day time too...

Longest run this season

Did a 29km (I stopped Runkeeper early cos I was disgustingly walking back...).

Managed to run consistently for 23km, then Jo called me and I couldn't restart afterwards.  Pain was too much, hurts everywhere, left little toe, ankles, knees, even my sides were aching.  I walked the remaining 6km back to F2 carpark, with growing self-disgust.... The views though are fantastic, I finally had to stop by a breakwater, to stare at our shipping lane horizon.  Very pretty, in a very Singaporean sense.  By the time I was done and out of East Coast Park, it was noon - I had started running at 7:30am. 

My running speed is quite consistent ~7:40min/km but it's slow, I need to push it to under 7mins/km, in order to finish under 5 hours.  Hmmm... 

Running our usual cycle route was a great idea.  Nice and straight, no need for a gazillion laps nor any traffic lights.  Was enjoyable other than the mid morning heat.

Post run calves aches are killing me though.  All stairs are subjected to cursing as I navigate them with the same trepidation as Zi inching down dirt trails.  I wonder if I should join the professionals and get those compression calf guards.  Hey if it's good enough for Paula Radcliff, it's good enough for me!

Can't take pressure no more?

With Mattie's arrival, suddenly life is no longer as my earlier lazy unemployed lifestyle.

There are errands to help out with, stuff to buy like nappies, fetch the confinement lady, drive mom over after she has gone to the wet market to buy fresh food...

Even my usual wake up and drive to midday mass has been difficult to make.  Cos I usually need to drive mom over to the house and she simply has no patience to wait - plus raw meats needs refrigeration.

The consolation is that Mattie has been worth the stress.  He's just perfect.  Except he is such a hungry kid he is wearing his poor mom down.  Had an intimate moment with Mattie just now so his mom can sleep for half an hour - we took a tour of Godma's car, said 1 Hail Mary together and prayed for Mattie to grow big and strong without much fuss. 

All the things that are not going well in life (and there is a lot!), somehow feels smaller.  Sister Lily told me to focus on gratitude.  Ok here goes, my list of what I should be thankful for :
- family.  I can't imagine living without my family.
- friends.  Zi, Jo and Francis (in no particular order).  You guys rock.
- sporting opportunities.  The run, climb, jog & sporting weekends - fantastic!
- knowing that Jesus still loves and cares.  I just don't get His plan now, it does not diminish His love for me.
- my car.  Ok, a little materialistic here.  But I am genuinely grateful for Roar.  I'm sorry Roar that I drained your battery in a dumb blond moment, hope the jumpstart didn't shock you too much.
- Internet & my iPhone.  Keeps me sane providing distraction.

Ok, I give up.  There's more, but I can't think.  Tomorrow Mattie's grand-aunts (my ah-bohs) are going to visit him.  Let's pray he's on best behaviour to 见客.

Just read this & thought it apt

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

Views of a sore and battered cyclist

It did not start off well.  The plan was to park at F2 carpark which is well frequented (and hence safe to leave the car overnight), cycle the 3km to Tanah Merah ferry terminal, so it's free parking and yet close enough.  However, I led Zi almost all the way to Changi village before realizing we've missed the turn.  Some 11km, mentally distraught, 1 hour late and a bloodied elbow later (fell with cleats again), we arrived at the ferry terminal.  I wanted to go home, really.... 

Thankfully I endured.  The trip was great fun.  I really enjoyed the cycling, even though it was hilly ALL the way!  We conquered 190km of hills over 3 days in the blazing hot tropical heat.  And now I feel much more comfortable with my cleats.  Yes, do not waste the cancer!

Bintan's road conditions were surprisingly good - for the most part.  We only encountered 1 or 2 bad patches, lasting at most a couple of kms.  And the logistics were very well organized.  We had 2 support vehicles, 1 in the front which carried ice cold drinks for us and also led the way, and a pickup at the back to picks up quitters.  On the first day cycling in, we cycled portions of stage 1 of the route for Tour de Bintan.  It was totally deserted (no cars at all!), freshly tarred, with rolling steep hills.  That was when I learnt that Corinna could climb a 60degree gradient hill, turn back to glance at you or snap your photo whilst still climbing, then continue on her way as if it were flat ground.  Sigh...

We stayed at the Ocean Bay resort over by Teluk Bakau, our contact was their manager, Tracy Ho (tel +62811699571), email tracy-ho@yahoo.com.sg or info@oceanbaybintan.com.  The rooms was rustic (read toilet flushes directly into sea and no AC) but they more than compensated with excellent service.  We had way too many meals including tea break & supper on top of lunch/dinners, they had a housekeeping cart which came by and they'd change your sheets daily, and I really liked how they tried to comply with all requests (giving Zi 4 hardboiled eggs for her carbo load after day 2 or 124km for her special tea break).

I also learnt that Peter can do a really mean job of massage - I was almost putty after his shoulder massage, thankfully my knees didn't buckle afterwards.

Group was a motley bunch of very easy going, lots of easy laughter. Dan is an OB doctor with a mean sense of humour and he was part of the team on the first test tube babies.  Kevin (the organizer) is an ENT doctor, there's also a lawyer and a professional entertainer within the group.  Ezi (the entertainer) loves Zi and called her 'babyface'.  Oh yeah, not sure why, but Zi was rather popular ie she got teased a lot by everyone.

Yeah, I had fun.  Only downside was Matthaeus Cheng had to make his appearance while I was away!  But I've explained to him, he seems ok with it.  I may be biased, but he is really good looking!  Perfect proportion facial features, long-limbed and very soft hair.