Having my mom visit for 14 days in a tiny apartment in Taipei was perhaps too ambitious. Despite me dragging my colleagues out to eat with me and then even dragging a few of them along with us to Alishan for the weekend, still, it really highlighted the difficulties we've had in our relationship.
I discovered I actually disliked being around her to listen to her whinge, complain, blame... I naturally walk away from her whenever I can. So much so that my colleagues would walk with her and then yell me... a common refrain was, 你又忘了你妈！You forgot your mom again!... Actually I didn't forget, I'm just plain avoiding.
Despite my best efforts at love - the Bible says so, when I see/hear her, I just want to flee.
I would imagine when couples divorce after many years of marriage, citing irreconciliable differences, it's because the hurt's so deep, that you're really beyond caring. Just a simple sentence brings with it a huge wave of anger/hurt that's accumulated over many years.
Don't get me wrong, I do all I ought to. I take her to dinner every night, we visit night markets, I took her to all the places a tourist should go in Taipei. I give her all she needs. When she nags, complains, I remain silent. But I just don't want to be close to her!
At times like these, it would do one well to count our God given blessings :
- mom is healthy
- she lives in Singapore
- I live in Taipei
- my 2 brothers take care of her (thank you 2!)
- my colleagues are really sweet people - thank you Rae especially! You'll make a great daughter-in-law one day
- weekend in Alishan was fantastic. The cypress woods with trees up to 2000 years old.. http://www.flickr.com/photos/8062670@N07/sets/72157608210290955/
- and most of all, Jesus loves us all.
6 comments:
Despite your whinges and complains, you did well this time in providing well for your mom while she was there, and avoiding any conflict with her. And you did these through great effort and great Love, while remembering the Lord's teachings and trying hard to follow. This is christain living. You effort will not be forgotten. You don't have to like her, but to love her...yes you do.
What 'was here' - she's still here! I woke up at 4am again this morning cos my left side ear plugs fell out in the night. GAHH!
Almost fell off the chair when i read this. What on earth were those plugs doing in your ears when you were sleeping at home ??? Was there a jackhammer outside? She needed to sleep too right? And is not very nice to wear ear plugs infront of her... cover your head with pillow.
She wakes up at 4am with alarm clock. Then she walks about, boil water, makes breakfast. Tiny apartment + light sleeper = constant waking up.
Groan...
Make breakfast..?! for you? She loves you!!! So what is some noise that disturb your sleep...at 4am...errr..yeah hor, that is a bit too early to make breakfast. I will buy you ear plugs that stay firm even while you sleep.
Please la, she make me breakfast, u gotta be kidding. That hasn't happened since primary school
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