Mendling in other people's affairs..

I hate this.

Almost a year ago, I received a call from a colleague's wife. I was in the gym and naked and reaching for clean clothes in the locker room when I got a phone call. It was long distance. She was distraught and claimed her husband had an affair. My first instinct, woman to woman, plus I was vulnerably naked at that moment, was to reach out to her. Weeks later and many loooong conversations with her, it all started to get really confusing. I realised much belatedly that I should not have gotten involved. And very politely walked away, explaining to her that she should really fix her marriage herself.

The whole business took a lot out of me. I wanted to help, but I realized I may have made things worse. And while I regret, I'm not sure if standing aloof in the first place was the kindness thing to do. My biggest learning at that time was to not meddle in someone's else's marriage. That while I can be a friend, I am not a part of the solution.

Sunday evening I found out that my friend/colleague's boyfriend is someone else's boyfriend as well. Again, I was dismayed, sickened to the core. She was in a relationship that was yo-yo-ing so bad. Some days she was flying on top of the world, some days she would be upset/angry at work. Now he is also in a relationship with a fellow diver? Wtf...

Monday at work she was again not in good mood. He had gone AWOL, again, all night. I tried to gently hint that perhaps he is not ideal for her. Tuesday, she was happy again, they had made up that night. I had wrestled the knowledge and decided she should know the truth. I didn't want to meddle, but she must at the very least know the truth.

Did I do wrong? Should I have kept the knowledge? I didn't want her hurt. Just as I didn't want to see my colleague's wife hurt at first.

One of these days I will learn to keep my big mouth shut, regardless.