So funny it drew tears in my eyes - this guy is a fantastic columnist

Straits Times Aug 8, 2010
Magic of Marikita
By Colin Goh

It's been a long time since National Day brought a smile to my face.

Before you stalwart nationalists out there start writing irate letters to the Forum page demanding my ouster from this little corner of The Sunday Times for my lack of patriotism, let me say that my sourness isn't limited to National Day.

I feel equally curmudgeonly around Christmas, Chinese New Year, Valentine's Day and practically any occasion where I'm made to feel obliged to be cheerful. You could say this is a defect of character but I'm also willing to bet I'm not alone.

This year, however, a stray bit of cheeriness managed to penetrate the Great Wall of Grump I'd carefully erected over the years. And it came from a place I didn't expect - a car rental agency.

I'd never rented a car in Singapore before but the combination of the heat, the crowds on the MRT and the taxi surcharges finally took their toll. In my last week before returning to New York, I decided to throw in my sweat-soaked towel and rent a gas-guzzling, totally environmentally unfriendly, congestion-contributing machine.

After some web searches and calls, I decided on an agency based on two criteria: price and price.

It didn't begin very promisingly. I called the agency (which will remain nameless because I really don't want to share this gem of a place with anyone else) and nobody answered the telephone. However, half an hour later, I received a call from an unknown number and the voice that wafted from the speaker was unmistakably that of an auntie.

'Hallo, you call to rent car, is it?'

Yes, I answered, and told her my preferred make of car and that I needed it from the Aug 2 to Aug 9.

'Aiyoh!' she exclaimed. 'Cannot.'

'Why?' I asked, puzzled.

'August 9 cannot. You must take it to August 10,' she said gravely. 'Because of the Marikita.'

My jaw fell but nothing came out.

'Hallo?' barked the auntie. 'Hallo?'

I cleared my throat, then replied: 'I must rent until the 10th because... because of what again?' I needed to be sure.

'The Marikita, lah. You donno the Marikita, meh? You not from Singapore, is it?

'I... uh...' I suddenly felt ashamed to say I was Singaporean because, clearly, only real Singaporeans knew what 'the Marikita' was. 'Okay, I'll take till the 10th.'

'Sorry, hor,' she said. '9 we all closed lah, because of the Marikita.'

By this time, a huge smile had broken across my face.

'You wait ah, sir, I check for you your car got or not.' After a few seconds during which I was biting my forearm to keep from laughing, she blurted again: 'Aiyah, sorry. You can only take to Friday, lair, sir.'

'Oh,' I said, disappointed. 'How come?'

'This weekend our car all fully book,' she said. 'Also because of the Marikita.'

I asked her to hold on, cupped my hand over the handset and roared. When I regained my composure, I resumed our conversation. 'Really, ah, even one car also don't have?'

'Yah lor, every year the Marikita, a lot of Singaporean like to rent car and drive to Malaysia.' I suppose an intellectual might read into this little nugget of data some measure of irony and symbolism. But I'm clearly not an intellectual because all I could think of at this time was how to get her to say 'the Marikita' again.

'So you still want or not, sir?'

I said yes, deciding not to check on the inventory of other agencies because I was thoroughly charmed. It wasn't condescension. I loved the name 'the Marikita'. Somehow, it captured the essence of the event while also letting some air out of its importance. And I loved it that someone could be so un-self-conscious to use it in a professional exchange.

Alas, when I went to the agency to collect the car, there was no sign of Auntie Marikita. Instead, it was manned by a rather stern young lady, whose sternness was no doubt due to the fact that aside from me, the majority of the clientele were young, P-plate drivers.

I decided to try my luck and inquire again about having the car over the holiday weekend.

'Cannot,' came the gruff reply. 'All our cars are fully booked.'

'All? How come?' I feigned ignorance, hoping she too would utter the magic word.

'National Day, lah. You not Singaporean, is it?'

I merely smiled and didn't tell her that this National Day, I actually felt even more Singaporean than in many previous years. And it was all because of 'the Marikita'.