Mom and I had our first full out fight. Wasn't pleasant. She's been all stressed out since Mattie was born. I mean, Ian & Michy hasn't even requested or put any serious burdens on us. Just every now and then mom needs to buy fresh produce from the market so the confinement lady can cook daily meals. Besides we eat there often anyways.
I got a glimpse again of the sheer anger she has in her. And how the anger self-fuels itself in a horrifying vicious cycle. She yells, which gets her angrier, results in more yelling - and I've seen her do 2 hrs straight of pure anger (4 years ago).
Today I got but a glimpse because I was trying to drive with her yelling at me and I just couldn't cope and so I pulled into a bus stop and she got off in a hissy fit, slamming the door hard for good effect. (Poor Roar - yes baby I still love you even if grandma doesn't care.)
What really terrifies me is how much anger she has in her, still! Stiring up memories of 4 years ago. Perhaps I really need to work overseas forever. Naiveté perhaps, it is clear we can never co-exist the way other mother-daughters can. I had 9 months of peace won by a 3 year absence.
This sucks. Literally. Been trying to drink away an insatiable thirst all day and watching Grey's Anatomy for therapy.
1 comment:
Make peace.
“Many sorrows shall be to the wicked; but he who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him” (Ps. 32:10)
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